Deceptions
by Michelle167
Summary: Secret revelations come to light concerning Kaidan as he remembers his past. Kaidan-centric one shot.


Deception

This is a short fanfic that is Kaidan centric. Brief appearance by Liara and mention of Shenko but no Shenko interaction. I'd tell more about what inspired me, but I think I'll leave that for the end of the fanfic. The ending is based on some spoilers from the comic book, but they don't follow it exactly. Since I haven't read it they may not be accurate, but I have read a few posts about it. If some of it hits the mark, I just want you to be aware. Also be aware that this was a quick fanfic so I really don't consider it one of my best, but I did like the idea behind it.

Kaidan has a secret he's kept from Shepard. Rated T...only one cuss word and little violence.

I do not own Bioware.

* * *

"She will never forgive us," the Asari said.

"You don't know that, Liara," Kaidan interjected.

"Shepard will never approve and you know it!" she exclaimed.

Kaidan lowered his head into his hands and exhaled. In his heart he knew that Liara was probably right, but he still held out hope. Things had changed in the last two years. Surely Shepard could accept the truth and they could all move on.

"I don't see why she won't be able to accept it...it's not like she hasn't compromised herself. She's working for Cerberus after all." Kaidan continued his futile attempt to convince his companion.

"Not willingly she isn't and if you think she'll understand about us you are mistaken," Liara stated.

As she continued her discourse, Kaidan's thoughts drifted to his past.

* * *

A dull crack erupted as his fist hit the side of the man's jaw.

Biotics would have been easier and much quicker, but Kaidan wanted to feel the impact of splintering bone against his knuckles.

His victim flew back against the bar wall and slumped to the ground. Despite the the obvious signs of unconsciousness Kaidan continued to assault his opponent, his steel toed boots contacting the man's ribs in a series of consecutive blows to the ribs.

Consumed with rage, he was blind to everything else around him.

"That's enough!" the officer said. His hands grasped firmly around Kaidan's arm as he pulled him away from his target, leaving the assailant's final kick to meet nothing but the open air.

Angrily Kaidan whirled to face his opponent's rescuer, his right hand emitting a blue glow.

"What do you want!" he growled.

"For you to come along peacefully...you're under arrest," The officer flashed his badge and fearlessly reached to cuff Kaidan's wrists.

A rustle of voices rippled through the bar as its patrons uneasily reacted to the errie light surrounding the young man's hand.

"Everything's under control people...go back to whatever you were doing," the officer said as he began to lead Kaidan to the door.

The rambunctious voices quietened to hushed whispers as the crowd returned to their conversations, although Kaidan was sure he heard more than one reference to the 'dark haired guy with the blue glowing hand' in passing.

Kaidan noticed the man he had used as a punching bag beginning to stir.

"That's good," he thought. Despite his rage, he selfishly didn't relish having his charges jump from assault to murder. Distracted by his good fortune at finding his victim alive, he didn't notice the man that had saddled up to him and the officer.

"For God's sake, William is that really necessary!" The man spat the words out as he approached.

"He practically beat Johnson to a bloody pulp...and if I hadn't intervened he might well have killed him," William answered.

"Johnson will be fine...besides I'll bet he had it coming. He's an asshole, and you know it." The man glanced over at Kaidan's opponent as he began to pull himself off the floor.

"Johnson...You're not going to press any charges are you?" The commanding tone in the man's voice left little doubt that his words were not a question.

Looking up, Johnson eyed the man fearfully and mumbled, "No...no charges." Stumbling, the beaten man headed for the exit.

"You see, William...no one's pressing charges...just a little bar room scuffle that's all...lets say you take the cuffs off our young friend here," The man said, gesturing towards Kaidan's shackles.

The officer sighed as he removed the cuffs, "Fine...but if he causes any more trouble they'll go right back on, and I will be taking him in."

"I'm sure there'll be no more trouble, William." the man said as the officer retreated to the back of the bar.

The blue shimmer around Kaidan's hand began to dissipate as his nerves began to calm.

His savior's eyes lingered for a moment on the glow as it faded away, and then he turned to Kaidan and clapped him on the back, " All's well that ends well...right."

"Thanks for helping me out," Kaidan said, relieved.

Smiling warmly he motioned for Kaidan to join him at his table, ""Come, sit down...talk with me."

The voices that filled the room faded as the two took a secluded table at the back of the bar.

Breaking the ice, Kaidan's host said, " You fight in bars a lot?"

"A lot more than I used to," Kaidan admitted as he lowered his head. Lately, his temper was becoming increasingly harder to control.

"It was like you said though...he had it coming," Kaidan said, defensively.

The man nodded, " No doubt he did. I've frequented this bar for three years now, and Johnson did nothing but cause trouble."

"Well I guess it's a good thing you were here tonight then...or I'd be in jail right now," Kaidan replied.

"Oh that was no mere coincidence." The man leaned back in his chair and calmly took a sip of his drink.

Suspicious, Kaidan asked, "What do you mean?"

"Louie Stratten...sound familiar?" the man asked.

"He recommended this place...said it was quite...out of the way...a good place to come if I just wanted to take it easy," Kaidan answered.

"He's an employee of mine...of sorts. I've been tracking you for a well over a year now and while it might have been easier to approach you elsewhere... let's just say I like the comforts...and safety of familiarity."

As the man explained the situation, Kaidan eyed the customers. He quickly noted that at least three acknowledged his attention...two with nods and the other with a wink.

Aware of Kaidan's realization the man added, "Yes I have several employees around the bar for safety reasons."

"Listen, I don't want to sound ungrateful but I don't like being played...if all this was a set up..." Kaidan started, angrily.

The man laughed, "I assure you that the fight and your arrest was all your own doing, Mr. Alenko. I merely took the opportunity that was afforded to me. All I'm asking is that you hear me out."

Kaidan rose to leave, his anger boiling just beneath the surface.

"I know about Jump Zero."

The man kept his admission simple letting the words work on their target.

Slowly Kaidan returned to his seat. Fear gripped him. The records were sealed...how could this man know?

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kaidan lied.

"Sure you do...no need to lie about it. I know the whole deal...how it began with Conatix bringing in a Turian to train human biotics and how it ended...with that same Turian dead at the hands of a 17 year old," the man confessed.

Kaidan shifted uncomfortably in his chair, " If this is extortion...I don't have any money. My Father is ex-military and even though his pension is good it's not like he's rolling in credits."

The man chuckled, " I'm not trying to blackmail you...I just wanted you to know that I...understand."

Kaidan's mind filled with the image of Vrynnus crumpled on the floor much like Johnson earlier except Vrynnus hadn't gotten up and walked away. He began to grapple with confusion as the vision brought back feelings of both rage and regret.

"It's the past...it doesn't matter," Kaidan mumbled, trying to shrug off his misgivings.

"But so much of the past shapes who we are...who we will become...don't you think?" the man asked.

What he would become? The thought didn't sit well with him. Vyrnnus faded to be replaced with the ghost of Rhana. Instead of her face being filled with gratitude or relief, it radiated complete terror...not of Vyrnnus but of him.

"She thought I was a monster," Kaidan whispered.

"A monster?" the man laughed, "no...Vrynnus got what was coming to him. It was justice. Rhana wasn't rejecting you ...she was rejecting herself...she didn't like what she had become...and you reminded her of what she really was. Your biotics are a gift...a gift you don't have to be ashamed of...one that can be used to help serve a greater purpose."

The words rang true...Rhana had never been comfortable with her fledgling abilities and where Kaidan had excelled she had diminished. Despite the isolation and rejection he experienced as a biotic, he didn't mind being different...Rhana on the other hand simple wanted to be like everyone else.

"And what is this greater purpose?" he ventured.

It was all too obvious that Kaidan had been drowning in a sea of aimless wandering. The man now offered him a lifeline.

"The preservation and future of the human race." he answered.

Kaidan grunted sarcastically.

"Some romantic notion to send me off into some life threatening endeavor," he thought, ignoring the fact that just a year and a half ago those words would have hooked him immediately.

"I don't mean to be rude but could you be a little less...vague?" he asked.

"Join the Alliance." the man stated simply.

Once again Kaidan's anger began to boil. The military along with Conatix had been responsible for Jump Zero, and if the rumors were correct they had been responsible for prenatal exposure to eezo as well. Despite learning to cope with the hand he'd been dealt, as far as he was concerned, that made them responsible for all the crap that had gone wrong in his life. Joining the military was the last thing on his mind.

"I want nothing to do with the military!" he exclaimed.

"I understand your misgivings...but if you will just hear me out. It's not what you think...give me a chance," the recruiter pleaded.

The idea that he might have a future appealed to him...but with the military? Despite being utterly repulsed, he nodded his head for the man to continue.

"The Alliance is pushing for better alien relations with our non-human neighbors in the galaxy. I think you would fit in nicely...what with you feeling such remorse for killing Vyrrnus. I would think you would want to promote better human/alien relations because of your own unique experience." Tapping the edge of his glass the man looked curiously at the potential recruit..

"Listen, I do feel remorse for killing Vrynnus, but I don't think I want to promote better human/alien relations. Alien races look down on us...they see us as inferior and if they can... they'll keep us under their feet for as long as they can. The Alliance's attempt to promote cooperation between us and them is merely catering to the enemy." Kaidan ranted.

"Exactly!" the man exclaimed.

The response was not what Kaidan expected. "I thought you just said you wanted me to join the Alliance to help promote human/alien relations...why are you agreeing with me?"

"Because you're right. I had to make sure we were in agreement concerning aliens...never the less taking a pro-alien stance publicly will serve you well. That way no one will suspect you." the man continued.

"Suspect me of what?" asked Kaidan.

"Of being an informant," he said.

"Why would I be informing anyone of anything?" asked a puzzled Kaidan.

"Because you believe in our cause," he responded

"Your cause?" Kaidan asked, incredulously.

"My interest is in the preservation and the advancement of the human race. It's important that we take our place in the Universe. I want to ensure that we do. I have people positioned almost everywhere to keep me informed of events that may arise from time to time. Eventually I may have to step in to help shape those events...in the human race's favor of course. If the Alliance has it's way we will be under the thumb of the rest of the galaxy indefinitely. It's important that I know what they are up to." the man explained.

"So I would be using my position in the Alliance as a cover while really working for you." stated Kaidan.

"Yes...In fact I already have something I want you to look into once you finish basic training." he answered.

"Say that I agree to do this...how would you even be able to ensure that I could find the information you were looking for?" Kaidan asked.

The man laughed softly. The deal was almost sealed...he could taste it. "I know where the information can be found...I just need someone to retrieve it for me. You don't have to worry about your assignments...I can pull a few strings to get you assigned where I need you."

"And how will I get in touch with you?" Kaidan realized he had already agreed before the words were out of his mouth.

"We'll work out the details in time...don't worry." The man stood from the table as the deal was coming to a close.

"I don't even know your name." Kaidan stated.

"You can just call me the Illusive Man for now...it seems to be what some of my employees have started referencing me by, and I think I'll keep it for a while." Checking his watch he asked, "Anything else before I leave?"

"Just one thing...why did you pick me?" asked Kaidan

The Illusive man smiled.

"Despite being a little rebellious and hot headed you're clean cut, polite, and studious...someone who can advance up the ranks while still flying under the radar....someone no one would suspect... besides after the incident with Vyrrnus I was sure that you would understand the need for advancing human interests." the man answered.

Kaidan nodded. The pitch was completed, and he had accepted.

* * *

The deal he had made with the Illusive man seemed like a lifetime ago. Over time his cover had become second nature, and he had found himself lying with ease about his political beliefs even to the people that were important to him. He had never regretted it until one of those people had turned out to be Shepard. Rather than alleviating his anxiety over keeping his secret, her death only fueled his guilt. Despite everything he wanted her back.

Unfortunately, it seemed everyone in the galaxy wanted Shepard...or at least what was left of her. In the end, however her remains wound up with Kaidan's employer...all with the promise that she could be brought back from the dead...a promise that Kaidan realized was not for his personal benifit but for the advancement of mankind. The means by which Cerberus obtained the body had also left one Dr. Liara Tsoni in the employ of the Shadow Broker...a position, that not unlike Kaidan's was merely a cover for Liara's true employer...the Illusive Man.

The arrangement ensured Shepard's safety and protection from the collectors. Despite the fact that Liara was an Asari, she had agreed to work for the Illusive Man to protect her friend. Kaidan actually did not mind...of all the aliens he knew the Asari seemed more human-like than any of them. He had to admit he actually liked her and wondered if his exposure to alien cultures hadn't softened his viewpoints over time.

"Shepard could easily forgive Liara's involvement," thought Kaidan, "She only agreed to work for Cerberus for Shepard's sake. Me on the other hand..."

He was roused out of his thoughts by Liara's rambling conclusion as to why Shepard wouldn't be able to forgive them.

"She's sure to find out we are involved with Cerberus...I don't see how she couldn't," Liara ended.

"With us not being allowed to accompany her on her mission...it might not be a problem...communication will be limited," answered Kaidan.

"Limited or not...eventually we'll talk...and I just don't see how it won't come out." Liara lowered her head in defeat.

He knew she was right. One day Shepard would find out about their past.

"About my past," he thought, "and that will be the end of it...unless she loves me as much as I love her. Maybe that would give us a fighting chance."

"And that's still a chance," he mumbled.

"What?" Liara asked.

Kaidan wrinkled his brow.

"Did you hear me? I said I don't know how we can keep this quite forever," she reiterated.

"If it comes out...it comes out," he said, "and we'll deal with it then, but now is not the time."

Liara jerked her head up as she discerned the hour.

"Time!...I have to go...Shepard can't catch me here," Liara exclaimed as she headed for the door, "We'll talk later."

Kaidan watched as the Asari raced out the door to leave him alone with his thoughts as he waited for Shepard's arrival. His conversation with his former Commander over the comm link had been short but promising. Despite everything Cerberus might have done to her, she had sounded like the same woman he had fallen in love with.

He remembered the day she had uttered those words to him for the first time, "I love you, Kaidan."

"But exactly who did she fall in love with?" he thought

Thinking back to his first meeting with the Illusive man, Kaidan realized that the woman he loved really didn't know him at all.

* * *

The first part sounds like Liara and Kaidan might have become a couple...don't think I haven't thought about that pairing..what with Kaidan's Asari fetish. Anyway...this is kinda based a little around the fact that in game you can turn Kaidan. Basically I think he's only pro-alien because of Rhana's reaction to him after killing Vryynus. The rest of his life he's going around trying to prove he's not the monster that Rhana obviously saw him as...so he does everything perfectly...he's the poster boy for pro-alien relations and the perfect soldier...but what if all that was a lie...that deep down inside he hated aliens...all aliens for what Vrynnus did to him. That viewpoint would probably be a more normal reaction than the one of pro-alien Kaidan given in game.

Personally I prefer sweet Kaidan but the idea of making him a Cerberus informant fit better with the darker Kaidan.

As for the Illusive Man/Kaidan Alenko connection...I don't know why I've been fascinated with the possibility. Even if it never shows up in the games(doubful that it would) it just seems that the background of the game leaves it open for an easy conncetion between the two to be made. The Illusive man sees Biotics as the future of the human race. Kaidan was one of the first...one that took down a Turian soldier at 17. I would think that would get him on the radar of someone who wasn't too fond of Aliens to began with who was also very interested in people with biotic abilities.

The other unanswered question was what did he do for the two years between Jump Zero and joining the Alliance and what really pushed him to the point of joining the Alliance in the end. It's a mystery I'd like answered which probably never will be what with ME2 concentrating on new characters so I guess fanfiction and my own imagination will have to do.


End file.
